Revolution

I have to run as fast as I can as the lights come on. I would just be edging towards their food, left open like that, invitingly-it’s their fault, really.

I don’t hear their screams, but I’m sure at least one of them saw me run and flinched. Maybe they have gotten used to their third room mate to scream in fear every time they see me. In any case, I don’t see the need to scream at me, I think its very demeaning. I understand the surprise factor of suddenly spotting a “lizard” in your room, but to scream every time- that’s a bit much. If you ask me I’ve been nothing but nice to them, always dutifully staying in the crevices, making sure there’s very little mosquitoes and other small bugs and such left. And what do I get in return? Blood curdling screams and naphthalene balls.- the audacity of the human species!

Anyway, I’ll take you through my story. I was a small lizard living in the corridors of the hostel, peacefully minding my business. Life was a little dry there- there’s only so much trash in the cans at a hostel with perpetually hungry students. Then one day, this door opened and stayed open with a small gap for a while. And the smell, ah the ever inviting smell of food. I was enticed, keeping my small feet and getting in step after small step, the aroma of food lured me in. Once in, I tried to find the food, but with no luck. The tables had seemed so tall for my young self (now I’m proud to have scaled those heights successfully. Way to go). So turning back, defeated, I saw the dreaded scene. Their giant feet storming in and there! Clasping the door shut. I was trapped and in alien territory- step one was to safeguard myself before anybody noticed. I ran into a crevice and decided to stay there till the door swung open another time. I braved the scary dark of the crevice between the cupboard and stayed there, trying to calm my breathing and distracting myself with the still pleasing aroma of the food. Then the smell got stronger, I heard their laughs, and as I looked on, those unassuming devils ate up every bit of the biriyani and without a stray rice here or there for me to nibble on later. The disappointment hit hard and I had to withdraw deeper into the crevice to shield my feelings.

And then the dark got deeper. They had gone to sleep. They must’ve opened and closed the door when I was exploring the crevice and I was stuck there for a whole night. Once the darkness set in, I decided to explore a bit, all the while scared that either one could wake up and that’d be it for me. Thankfully, the room I strayed into has people who sleep through the gala of annoying alarms and soon, I discovered that it was safe to take these expeditions at night. So as the world slept, I took to new dawns and adventures. My initial explorations introduced me to more crevices and cracks to hide in and some spots to find stray food that escapes them. Ah that was a Good night.

This arrangement of cleaning up their room while they sleep (I’m a mannered lizard, I don’t leave stray poop as a thank you for stray food) had continued for a while and they continued to be in blissful ignorance. Every time they would gush about how clean their room was, I would blush and grin to myself in my crevice.

But it finally happened. I might have been a little too excited to hear their compliment and ended up expressing my delight quite audibly. It freaked them out and from then on, it has been a series of “amma There is a Lizzardd!”and “You think Hit works?”

I was horrified at their reactions- I thought we had a sweet arrangement going, you know living in harmony with nature and all that! But damn these people are Selfish. With their ideas on entitlement to this space I am surprised I even survived this long to tell my story.

I figure we fared well when we were both ignorant – them of my existence and me, of their cruelty and devious plans.

I’m sure I will have to relinquish this space sooner or later, crawl out to the larger world with a lot of space and far more crevices for me to make a home from, but until then, it is revenge time. There was an elderly lizard who wouldn’t stop narrating this story where he saw a fly take revenge and kill a grown man. Old crawler couldn’t take his eyes off the screen and missed three flies buzzing around. I’m only angry that none of the hungrier lizards could get to the flies because he blocked the way.

I don’t stake claim to similar cruelty, so humans, take note. Next time someone mentions cleanliness, I will make sure to dash across the floor and guide the credit where it is due. I’m done with humans free riding animals and reptiles. As I am sure are you, fellow reptiles.

Call out after me!

All hail the reign of reptiles!